Friday, May 04, 2012

Baby: The Opportunivore

Opportunivore - noun

An animal that eats or attempts to eat anything and everything within reach.

Of close relation to the omnivore, the opportunivore differs in its obvious lack of limitations when choosing an object to consume. While the omnivore easily identifies and consumes only edible plant and animal products, the opportunivore adheres to no such constraints. 

Opportunivore's have been known to attempt consumption of objects including but not limited to...

Plastic food,

toy balls too large for its mouth,

blocks of any colour or shape,

and even its own shoes.

Although the opportunivore thoroughly enjoys the hunt for these obviously non-edible objects,

it is always appreciative of a little helping hand.

Caution: When in the vicinity of an opportunivore always keep close eye on on the proximity of its mouth. The opportunivore will often attempt consumption of anything and everything near its mouth (ie. a playground swing).

Although the opportunivore will consume edible plant and animal products it has an equal appreciation for things that are not edible (ie. eating utensils).

The opportunivore has adopted the age old adage "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again"

You have been warned. Please take proper precautions when approaching the opportunivore.

No comments:

Post a Comment