Ignorant Parents Deserve Atomic Wedgies

Prepare for a rant…

I think parents and non-parents would agree that sometimes it is tempting to scream “Control your child!!!” – Obviously directed at the ignorant parent chatting up a storm with some other ignorant parent while their child maliciously attacks other children at a preschool style playground with a weapon of mass destruction.

I wish I were exaggerating, but such was the scene yesterday afternoon at the playground by my house. Okay, maybe the mass destruction part was an exaggeration, but just slightly. I would have taken photographic evidence to put here, but I was too busy trying to protect my children from what would certainly have been their sudden demise a serious injury. I mean what parent in their right mind sends a 4 year old boy into a playground full of other preschoolers with a large, heavy plastic sword!?! And sits idly by while said 4 year old wields it above his head, swings it wildly and swiftly whacks every innocent bystander in the gut.

I quickly collected my girls and removed them from the obviously dangerous situation until the terrorizing 4 year old left the playground. However, as is probably not surprising given that I am still ranting about this a day later, I regret my certain inaction in the situation. Unfortunately, I am an avoider and hate confrontation. Here is how my inner devil wishes I had handled the situation:

I quickly divest the 4 year old hooligan of his weapon, pick him up and deposit him in the baby swing, where is now effectively inhibited and his reign of terror ceases. I march over to the ignorant parent and call her out while waving the plastic sword in my hand. She stands up and I give her the biggest atomic wedgie that has ever been performed on a human being (thanks to her enormous granny panties), and then I whack her in the gut with the plastic sword and politely suggest that she collect her little hooligan and be sure to never return to my kingdom this playground again. The crowd cheers as I stand atop the playground slide with the sword held high above my head shouting "Freedom!"

Sigh… that feels better.

Make It Monday: Easter Eggs

If you’re looking for some fun ideas for decorating eggs for Easter than you’ve come to the right place. I couldn’t decide what method to use to decorate our eggs this year so I opted for a mixed bag. Sophie and I made Basic Easter Eggs, Marbled Eggs, Crayon Design Eggs, Polka-dot Eggs, Striped Eggs, an Easter Egg Chick and Tissue Paper Eggs.

Before you start hard boil as many eggs as you like and allow them to cool completely. Then pick your method of attack and have at it. Below are directions for the different methods that we used for decorating our eggs.

Basic Easter Eggs

What you’ll need:

¾ cup  Water

1 tbsp  White vinegar

Food colouring

Simply combine the ingredients in a glass adding as many drops of food colouring you need to get your desired colour.

Carefully place a hard boiled egg in the glass and let it sit there for a few minutes. The colour will be more prominent the longer you wait.

Remove the egg with spoon and set it on an upside down egg carton to dry.

Marbled Eggs

What you'll need:

Basic Easter Egg Dye (recipe above)

1 tbsp  Cooking oil

Add cooking oil to the Basic Easter Egg Dye. Place a hard boiled egg in the glass and allow it to sit for a few minutes. The oil will cause the dye to have a marbled effect on the egg. 

Crayon Design Eggs

What you'll need:

Crayons

Basic Easter Egg Dye (recipe above)

Draw a design on a cool, dry, hard boiled egg with crayons. White crayons give a neat effect. 

Place the egg in a glass of dye, allow it to sit for a few minutes, remove and dry.

Polka Dot Eggs

What you'll need:

Sticky tape or stickers

Basic Easter Egg Dye (recipe above)

Simply stick a few stickers or cut out pieces of tape on your hard boiled egg. Place it in the egg dye, allow to sit for a few minutes, remove and dry, and remove the tape. We make a polka dot egg, but you could be creative with any shapes.

Striped Eggs

What you'll need:

Elastics

Basic Easter Egg Dye (recipe above)

Wrap an elastic around a hard boiled egg. You can use an egg that has already been dyed if you want a two toned effect like this one. Place the egg in the dye, allow to sit for a few minutes, remove and dry, and remove the elastic.

Easter Egg Chick

What you'll need:

Basic Easter Egg - dryed (directions above)

Pipe cleaner

Googly eyes

Feathers

Construction Paper - cut into the shape of a beak

Ribbon - tied into a small bow

Hot Glue

Twist the pipe cleaner to make feet and a loop for the egg to rest in. Using hot glue attach the pipe cleaner feet to the egg. Glue on feathers, googly eyes, construction paper beak, and bow. Voila!

Tissue Paper Eggs

What you'll need:

Tissue paper cut into small squares

Water in a spray bottle

Spray a hard boiled egg with water and stick the pieces of tissue paper all over it. Spray the entire tissue paper covered egg with water and allow to dry completely. Peel off the paper to reveal your creation.

Note: We used four colours of old tissue paper, but only the purple and green stained the egg. This would work better with brand new tissue paper.

Happy Monday!